Children and Fathers

Wives, submit yourselves to yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.

Children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers provoke not your children[to anger] lest they be discouraged.

Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as men pleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God;  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.

Col.3:18-4:1

C3.1 Children

Children are addressed next. They are exhorted to obey their parents. The parallel passage in Ephesians adds a modifier.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Eph.6:1-3

Subject to the same limit a before, namely that we are at liberty to disobey if the command would mean disobeying God. Children are to obey their parents, just as wives are to submit to their husbands.

Paul notes that disobedience is not just rebellion against the parents but also against God and is a sign of the end times. We must remember that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, I Sam. 15:23.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Rom.1:28-32

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
II Tim.3:1-3

There is much exhortation in scripture for children to obey and heed to their parents’ instructions.

My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
Prov.1:8-10

My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.
Prov.2:1-6

The commandment to honour one’s parents implies an attitude of heart towards them. It is one thing to obey, but what about the motive? Is it reluctant, grudging or with a willing heart? To honour is to do so with a willing and loving heart. This would also include the lesson Jesus gave to those who would cry ‘Corban’, Mk.7:8-13.

To obey willingly and in love is to show that one is believing that the parent knows best. Even when one can not understand it.

Solomon in the Proverbs takes this up He exhorts the son to heed his parents’ instruction and commandments. The purpose of which is to incline the ear to wisdom and to understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of the Lord.

C3.2  Fathers

The fathers  are encouraged to bring up their children without provoking them so that they become discouraged . The Ephesian letter says in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, Eph.6:4.

This is part of providing for his own. That the father, taking the responsibility as head of the house, spends time, entertains, educates and whatever is necessary to help them mature as people. Primarily it means leading them to Christ. In the end of course they have to make their own choice.

Occasionally discipline will be needed, but done wisely and fairly and not going over the top, will produce sweet fruit in the lives of the children, see Prov.13:24; 17:10; 23:13-14.